Boss, can I ask you something?

The boss, fresh from a weekend off, was in fine form today, after asking "Does anyone know what Dr. Phil's name is?". From time to time, the boss has to deal with a question from clients, who aren't exactly genius material... the boss usually has sympathy for these folk, and today showed just how much sympathy she had with her response to what she thought of one question in particular:

"No, it's not that, I think it's a great question, and I've got a great answer... 'F*** Off'".

Dealing with Pets

A co-worker recently got a new dog, and the boss joined in discussions over who currently has pets, and what they think of them... it was agreed that cats were rubbish and fish were for apartments. The boss however, had a different idea on what to do with pets that you no longer want...
Put them in the paper? No
Give them to friends or family? Wrong again
Ship it off to the circus? That wouldn't do

The boss had a better idea:

"I hate my dog, we want to get rid of it. It'd be good if it died... in fact if anyone wants to kill a dog, we've got one for you"...

The Problem With HR

After recieving another email from HR about a ridiculous policy the boss decided to explain the problem with HR

"Every time you go to HR, they're just sitting around having a wankfest about how to wash your hands"